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It’s all connected

So, a congressional task force has concluded that the Federal Emergency Management Agency botched the Katrina rescue and cleanup. Of particular concern was failure to deal with leaks, especially those by ‘Scooter’ Libby in the Valerie Plame case. Libby’s lawyers have subpoenaed hundreds of classified documents to be examined in this case – documents which were compiled by the National Security Agency from domestic wiretaps they obtained without warrants. President Bush authorized the warrantless spying, arguing that our phone and e-mail networks are vulnerable to terrorists exploiting open ports. Instead of trying to close the ports, the administration is selling them to Dubai Ports World, a state-run company in the United Arab Emirates. DPW, as its first act of port security, will be examining all packets of cartoons from Europe – particularly those from Denmark. A Danish newspaper caused controversy recently with its cartoons making fun of other countries’ domination of all the winter sports at the Olympic Games. While the Danish expected to excel at several traditionally Scandinavian sports, the biathlon events were the center of their own separate controversy, as Vice President Cheney hit a retired biathlete in the face while firing the ceremonial first shot. While the victim has recovered, the incident caused the event to be cut short. Upset by Cheney’s visit being aborted, the South Dakota legislature has passed a law banning abortion. The law is expected to be tested before the Supreme Court, which has a new justice Samuel Alito. Alito has been involved in judging controversies before, such as in the figure skating at the 2002 Winter Games, where officials of several nations were played against each other by lobbyist Jack Abramoff. Abramoff has recently reached a plea agreement with the justice department, and will testify in the trial of Saddam Hussein, who was implicated in the bombing of the Shiite Askariya shrine. The Shiite government of Iran is expected to retaliate with a possible nuclear strike, but the country’s nuclear capability is as yet unknown, according to Weapons Inspector Jacques Clouseau.

James Frey contributed to this report.

Posted by seaking on 03-03-2006 at 09:03 pm
Posted in Humor, Politics

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